Disclaimer: This was already prewritten towards female readers. But it applies to the males as well, I suppose. ^_^
Of all the ingredients that make up a great relationship, trust may be the trickiest of them all. Why? Because it's hard to know how much you should give -- and how soon. Besides, after dating the jerk who cheated/lied/led you on, the men that follow will be hard pressed to get a fair shot with you.
There are lots of men out there who test the old adage, but every man is not a dog. Since we do want a good man, we're going to have to learn to get over our hurt and be open to the possibility of love.
So the last guy hurt you, and so did the guy before that, and the guy before that. Maybe the new guy is doing things that remind you of the jerks who broke your heart, but that's no reason to treat him like he is.
Part of dating means leaving yourself open. Not wide open, but open enough to experience the good -- and possibly the bad -- of the guy you're interested in. Don't punish the new guy for the old guy's mistakes. Give him a chance to win you over; it just may be worth it.
The moment you start expressing yourself freely, you know you've got a man who's earned your trust. Whether it's sharing secrets from your past or just expressing your feelings, letting him into your world can be scary, but honesty is still the best policy in any relationship.
Opening up to your mate is also a way of becoming more intimate with him. Just be careful you don't share too much too quickly; you don't want to push him away.
Hate to put this out there ladies, but we are prone to playing a few mind games with the fellas. If he's unavailable one night, suddenly you're unavailable. He takes a little too long to call you back, you take forever to call him back.
Playing games doesn't help you to establish a pattern of trust, so just don't do it. Instead, be honest, someone he can trust, and he'll be more likely to follow suit.
There is nothing wrong with following your instincts, but not if you attack your new guy whenever something doesn't sit right with you.
Just because something rubs you the wrong way doesn't necessarily mean that something shady is going on. Stop reading into everything, and if you think something is awry, sleep on it and approach it with a clear head the next day. That way, you don’t feel the need to pressure, question or overreact based on predictions, which would just push him away.
Far be it for us to steal words of wisdom from a Harry Potter book, but when it's true, it's true. Men are strange creatures, thinking and behaving in ways that have made no sense to generations and generations of women before you.
The man you're dating now is probably no different. He won't use a map to take you to that B&B in the woods, but you can relax knowing that he will still get you there.
Trust, just like the best relationships, builds with your partner over time. Your first date is all about making a good impression, so your hair and nails are done up just right, and you buy the perfect outfit. But make it to the seventh date, and the MAC comes off, and the real you comes out.
When you no longer feel like you have to be on your best behavior, it's a definite sign that your new beau has made you feel comfortable and safe, so you may want to drop your guard a little. Just a little.
When you keep choosing men who end up doing you wrong, it can be hard to believe that you're actually capable of picking a good guy. But you are. Dating bad boys doesn't make you a bad girl, as long as you're paying attention to the lessons learned along the way.
Take the mistakes you've made and apply them to the men you pick in the future. And do yourself a favor; don't spend anymore of your time worrying about the ones that got away.
Constructive arguing is a sign of respect. It shows that while he may want to win the argument, he's not willing to tear you down to do it.
Being with someone who can be angry without trying to hurt you is definitely a plus. Not only can you feel safe knowing that there are some lines that won't be crossed, there's more of a chance you'll come to a resolution at the end of the disagreement.